Last month we talked about the 5:1 ratio of positivity to negativity that is vital to healthy relationships. I hope you were able to conduct your own personal experiment with this information. What did you learn about yourself and your interactions?
Today we’re going to talk about the importance of being courteous to our partners. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be kind to a stranger? At times, one might even find oneself going out of one’s way to help a stranger. But when our partners ask us for something, do we jump at the opportunity to help or do we avoid the request? We can easily become complacent in our relationships and take our partners for granted if we don’t make the effort to be thoughtful and courteous.
In order to avoid that pitfall, take a moment and remember how devoted you were to one another when you were first dating? Recall how you would have done just about anything to spend more time with your special someone, to gaze into his/her eyes for as long as possible. Remember how painful it was to part ways?
Today I want to encourage you to take action when your partner makes a request of you. Think about how special and cherished your partner might feel if you followed through with the request. What do you have to lose? And, what might you gain?
Keep in mind that relationships that operate on the quid pro quo implicit contract (in which positive things need to be exchanged by one another) are unhealthy relationships. Being courteous to your partner should flow from the wellspring of kindness in your heart and the love you want to cultivate in your relationship.
So next time your partner asks you for something or to do something, pause and consider what saying, “Sure Honey, I’d love to!” would have on your relationship. Give it a try for a couple of weeks and see how you feel. Notice how your partner responds to you.
I’ll look forward to reconnecting with you next month when we talk about more tips for making your most special relationships successful. Until then, please practice loving one another!